Understanding and Supporting Polyamorous Clients in Therapy: A Culturally Sensitive Approach

As therapists, understanding and respecting our clients' cultures, identities, and relationship styles is crucial. This is especially true when working with clients who are in polyamorous or other consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. Polyamorous individuals often face unique challenges, including marginalization, discrimination, and a lack of appropriate mental health care. In this blog post, we'll explore key considerations for therapists working with polyamorous clients, challenge common biases, and discuss the importance of cultural sensitivity in therapy.

Understanding the Client's Culture

To provide effective therapy, it's essential to utilize language and behavior that respect the client's culture and identity (Sprenkle, Davis, & Lebrow, 2009). This includes recognizing and respecting the complexities of polyamorous and multi-partner relationships. Therapists should strive to build multiple alliances within these relationships, understanding that each partner may have unique perspectives and needs.

The Challenge of Finding Affirming Therapists

Polyamorous individuals often struggle to find therapists who are non-pathologizing and knowledgeable about their relationship style (Anapol, 2010; Graham, 2014; Henrich & Trawinski, 2016). The mental health community has historically marginalized polyamorous individuals, leading to a lack of appropriate care and support. As therapists, it's our responsibility to educate ourselves and challenge these biases to provide a safe and affirming space for all clients.

Challenging Common Biases

There are many negative assumptions about polyamorous people, such as being less moral, untrustworthy, or less satisfied in their relationships compared to monogamous individuals (Burris, 2014). However, research shows that polyamorous individuals often report higher satisfaction, more commitment, and more trust in their partners than monogamous individuals. They also experience lower levels of jealousy and higher levels of need fulfillment and satisfaction with multiple partners (Conley, Matsick, Moors, & Ziegler, 2017; Mitchell, Batholomew, & Cobb, 2014).

Therapists' knowledge and comfort with polyamory are associated with more positive attitudes and perceptions of polyamorous clients (Sullivan et al., 2017). By challenging our own biases and assumptions, we can better support our clients and acknowledge the strengths and benefits of their chosen relationship style.

Why Polyamory?

People choose polyamory for various reasons, including the belief that one can love more than one person simultaneously, a desire for growth and exploration, and dissatisfaction with serial monogamy. For some, polyamory aligns with their bisexuality or interest in kink, allowing them to explore new sexual avenues. It's essential to understand whether polyamory is an identity or lifestyle choice for each client, as this distinction can inform therapeutic approaches.

Implementing Cultural Sensitivity in Therapy

Therapists must work to see the limitations of our own worldviews and open our minds to the experiences of others (McGoldrick, Giordano, & Garcia-Preto, 2005). Non-dominant cultures, including those practicing polyamory, are often pressured to conform to societal norms. As therapists, we need to be sensitive to the diversity and variety of relationships our clients may have (Henrich & Trawinski, 2016; Nealy, 2008).

To implement cultural sensitivity, consider the following:

• Language: Use inclusive language, both written and oral, that does not assume monogamy. Clarify relationship agreements and terminology, and ensure clinical paperwork is affirming and inclusive (Ritchie & Barker, 2006; Sprenkle, Davis, & Lebrow, 2009).

• Affirming Setting and Structure: Ensure your office space is large enough or your telehealth program can accommodate multiple clients at once. Offer longer session times to address the complexities of multi-partner relationships.

• Clinical Tools: Utilize Relationship Evaluation Scales and recommend relevant readings, podcasts, or other resources. Be aware that codeswitching may sometimes be necessary but is becoming less common.

By adopting these practices, therapists can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for polyamorous clients, helping them navigate the unique challenges they face and fostering their growth and well-being.